Fruits Of The Soil

Roger — Mon, 23 Jan 2012 16:23:14 +0000

A store that sells the most interesting and attractive packaged foods from all over the world. Half-grocery story, half-library.

Roger — Sun, 22 Jan 2012 04:10:53 +0000

Movie: It turns out the founding fathers, in another measure to secure the future of their young nation, saved samples of their sperm. Some primitive form of preservation — proto-cryonics powered by a molasses battery, something like that — one of Ben Franklin’s inventions. These samples have been locked in some vault since then. They are discovered by accident just when we need them most. So begins a secret program to find mothers to carry the babies of Washington, Jefferson, Hamilton, etc. — babies who will some day save our country from inept politicians. Sort of like the boys from Brazil, only good…

Roger — Sun, 13 Nov 2011 20:42:53 +0000

Book: Bible Zingers. Crushing putdowns and snappy comebacks from the old and new testaments. iPad app is great for “Comments” feuds.

Roger — Sat, 15 Oct 2011 17:15:41 +0000

A different style of marathon. Instead of shouting encouragement, the crowds along the route jeer at the runners, curse them, and hold up signs that said “Give Up!” When a group of fans’ particular “favorite” runs past, they scream especially loud and hold up the signs they’ve prepared. “Go home, Ron!” “You’re finished, 1249!” And instead of handing out cups of water, fans throw water at the runners, along with pennies, balled-up candy wrappers, and other trash. The runners get a special high from all this and surge toward the finish line on a wave of hate.

Roger — Thu, 01 Sep 2011 23:42:56 +0000

A step beyond urban farming: urban hunting and gathering. In depopulated cities like Detroit, Buffalo, or Youngstown, empty blocks where abandoned houses have been razed could be put to use as habitat for deer, rabbits, and wild pigs. These could then be hunted and eaten by local citizens.

Roger — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 19:36:12 +0000

Gag: Netflix gets snide. All of a sudden, you find that your taste preferences include Twee, Sentimental Indie Films; Overrated, Predictable Oscar Bait; Brain-Dead Trash With Big Explosions; and Classic Foreign Films You Won’t Finish Watching.

Roger — Wed, 29 Jun 2011 19:31:07 +0000

Snow globes with lonely, desolate scenes. Shake up the layer of snow to reveal an empty mall parking lot, an abandoned quarry, or a stubbled field.

Roger — Mon, 06 Jun 2011 01:18:21 +0000

New York is ready for… a vintage computer store. Old Apples and PCs, all in working condition and with plenty of original games available.

Roger — Mon, 21 Mar 2011 17:33:08 +0000

Subtitles for people who can’t follow movie or TV plots.

“I just got a call from headquarters. Mrs. Persimmon [mean lady with the red lipstick] has been killed.”

“What!”

“Captain Stevens [guy with the blond hair] found her body at Bergdorf’s place [big loft apartment with the housemaid].”

…Other subtitles could define big words or slang, or explain jokes for the humor-impaired.

Roger — Sat, 29 Jan 2011 17:27:24 +0000

Pringles dispenser. The shape of a pringles can, but with a little pedal on the bottom. Push the pedal and a single Pringle comes up. Different flavors alternate.