Archive for August, 2009|Monthly archive page

In Misc. on August 31, 2009 at 1:18 pm

Dream: I’m waiting in line at the bank with my bear friend.  When I get to the counter, I pass a note to the teller: “Give me all your money.  I have a bear.”  The teller looks at the bear, and the bear just nods real slow.  The teller’s eyes get wide and she starts dumping money into a sack.  Me and the bear party that night in our (penthouse) lair with fine champagne etc.


In Misc. on August 30, 2009 at 1:55 pm

Billionaire dandy who only pays for things with vintage cash.

In Misc. on August 28, 2009 at 1:15 pm

Motown group called the Fontanelles.

In Movies on August 27, 2009 at 5:25 pm

Movie: Three terrorists in a “sleeper cell” are on their way to New York City.  In their van is some very bad bomb.  But they take a wrong turn and end up in rural Pennsylvania, and before they can turn around, they get into an accident.  The van and the device are damaged, and they have no choice but to stay in the closest town — an all-American little burg where folks are just plain folks — until they can get replacement parts.  Kind of like Doc Hollywood.  The three jihadis settle into the routines of the charmingly quirky little town and even start to be accepted by the townspeople — all but the leader, a humorless zealot who sees the mark of Satan in everything around him.  This creates tension among them — most of all when the youngest of the three finds himself falling in love with a waitress at the local diner…and with America itself.  Now he must choose between the woman he loves and the city he’s vowed to destroy…

In TV on August 27, 2009 at 12:36 pm

Reality TV show that the contestants have chosen over jail time.

In Literary on August 26, 2009 at 11:58 am

Story: A famous writer or artist owes his inspiration to a muse: not a woman, but a parasite he picked up as a young man from a pool of stagnant water on some remote island.  His recurrent fevers are also fevers of inspiration.

In Misc. on August 25, 2009 at 1:14 pm

A solution to most of humanity’s problems: mandatory testicle transplants.  The children men fathered would not be biologically theirs.  Not only would this remove a primal underlying cause of competition and violence among men, but it would end racism in one generation, since if you were, say, white, your children might easily be part-asian, black, etc.  It would also put a stop to overpopulation.  

If this procedure proved too expensive to perform on all males, it could only be required of the elites of society, or to gain entry to that class.

In Misc. on August 24, 2009 at 12:51 pm

Sometimes a good cry makes you feel much better afterwards.  But it’s so difficult to cry by yourself.  For this purpose, crying porn could be available on various websites.  The would-be crier can cue up whichever video suits the crying need best: a maternal woman saying “There, there… it’s alright..” or a little kid saying, “It’s OK to feel sad.  I feel sad too sometimes.”  Or just an older guy looking at the camera with an expression of paternal love and getting choked up wordlessly.

In Literary on August 23, 2009 at 1:54 pm

Children’s book: I Was So Drunk

In Movies on August 23, 2009 at 1:52 pm

Science fiction movie: The earth is visited by aliens who receive nourishment from human waste.  These advanced beings give us the technology we need to end hunger, cure disease, protect the environment, etc., and all we have to give them in return is – shit.  But although the aliens save humanity and usher in a new era of peace and prosperity, we never really feel comfortable with them or respect them, because… they eat poop.